God and me

"I love GOD".. I have always been a God loving person. I love him, adore him, talk to him and definitely need him all the time. His presence gives me hope and enthusiasm to get up everyday and try to make the best out of it.

               I like the simplicity of our relation where I treat him as someone close to my heart instead of some high powered almighty who exist way up in the sky and is a super powered entity. God is my friend, my sibling, my angel, my guardian someone who has always been there for me. His place is the only place where I will be never turned down. He holds my hand in both misery and delights...

                 Even though I do question  his judgement from time to time but on the long run, it has always gone by the good old saying of "whatever happens, happens for the best". 

    

            And I have to admit that God has  been very very kind to me always. I do feel silly for my childlike barters done over the years, especially during exams and some of them probably surpass the grave categories of bribe. But still his is that one place where I get complete serenity and peace. And on top of it, God not only answers my player but also looks after me. It's as if he is there, watching me, always and saving me from getting into vexing situations.

               I am not a very religious person by nature and for me Ram, Krishna, Buddha, Allah, Jesus are just different names for the same god. I haven't read too many holy books, only their stories but the overall gist of every religion is same: Spread love and have compassion for every creature, be kind and merciful to the less fortunates....

the balance of both world

So much has changed in all these year. And when I say it, I am not going too far. I just mean from the time I joined blogger to now, it seems like an era has past by. It is indeed six plus year but in this millennium age, that is a significant amount of time, for new things to take over old things. My daughter grew into a six years old, I went back to school to complete my second Masters degree, bought a house, entered 30's club and so much more.

Not just me, but everything around me has also changed. Suddenly technology has taken an even bigger chunk of our everyday life. It's not that for us millennium kid it was ever a thing of past, but we seem to have being held hostage by them day and night. People look for their phone first thing in the morning and before retiring to bed, make sure all messages are read and replied. CRAZY but so true.. Tablets being so portable have completely taken over laptop for general internet activities.

When I look around I see almost all of my extended family: uncles & aunts & grand dads and all are now on Facebook. Everyone I know from kids to grand ma to everyone else have smart phones. Social networking continues to get stronger and fatter with each passing minute. Whatsapp has become a big deal now considering the insta chat option to all your current contacts on phone. From Google TV to Google glasses, something or the other is trying to find a place in our gadget profile.

Despite our life being completely submerged under these gadgets, most of us must have tried ( at least once) to try to get away from this kind of world and live a life of monk. I have done it but it was not as serene as I expected it to be. I guess striking a balance between the two world is the key. Till the time I find my right chord I will keep trying, making sure that I still remain the master of my own  life..

time to wake up

I had the strangest dream today. I woke up from signing at my first book launch tour. There were people standing in line holding a thick paperback( must be 600 pages at least) wanting me to sign the first page of the book that I wrote..huh.. Who would have thought?

 And there I was wearing white blazer, sitting in a bamboo chair, hair tied into a bun signing all those book cheerfully. And then my alarm went off so loud.. Ugh.. After so many years finally I was having a sane dream, or more like a dream of a dream but like all good things it had to end. 

I have no idea how a human mind works but I would like to believe that my subconscious mind must have picked up all my desires of writing and blogging from all those year and intertwined it into this. This also bought a humongous guilt of not writing at all. But this time, I didn't promised like I always do but BEGGED myself to write, to blog just about anything.

I have to admit that writing is very therapeutic. It lets a lot of emotions and feelings out which are otherwise so difficult to express. So, I have decided that I would write. No matter how silly they look on reading, I would still write. I have nothing to loose, infact I may gain and improve my vocabulary. And may be I will make this morning dream of mine go so real that no alarm would turn it away.

busy mommy

Life is crazy busy, i swear. Starts at 6 AM and end's at midnight and not a single minute to spare in between. How does the entire day passes by is really hard to know. For me sometimes it takes days to check personal mails. And to add the matter worse, i think my late email replies kind of amuses people around as in where the heck was she all these time. Does it not look silly when you congrats someone for their wedding which was last month? I mean how belated can you go :D

But i don't complain because i prefer being busy than having nothing to do. I am scared of the fact that an empty mind is a devils work shop and i do not want to be a part of any devil's plan.

But despite all this, the biggest perk of my busy schedule is for sure picking my daughter from her play school. The hug that i get from her after she sees me coming through the glass door is priceless. In a way it makes me think that i can live my entire life on those lovely moments. And the drive back home is another story. All her talk revolves around her two best friend Eva and Dia. In fact if i ask her: how was your day, she would scratch her head but if i ask her how was Eva doing today, she would blabber non stop. Amazingly i have got so used to this routine that long weekend seems really long.

Anyways seeing my daughter learning so much and talking smart fills a deep sense of satisfaction inside. Kids truly are the dynamics of the life. They bring so much energy to our life. In fact life actually starts making more sense after they enter your world.

My doll is a big chatter box on top of it. She has so many stories to tell from her day. On top of it she loves to take care of me like a mommy does. Not only will she pretend like a mommy, she will act like one. So in a way i see my real impression on that young mind.

The other day i having a sandwich with her at a coffee shop. I didn't realise but i had some mayo left at the corner of my mouth. She sees it. Immediately goes and grabs a napkin and wipes it all and then says there you go mommy.. all clean.

the small things

I was watching a very interesting documentary on Buddha's life on GPB yesterday. It was a nice short authentic Hearsay that was compiled into two parts. The first one spoke about the early and mid life of Buddha. How he was born in a privileged family where he was protected by his father all around. His father strictly enforced this to all guards and made sure that his son Siddhartha(budha's early name) should not be able to see the worries and suffering of the world. So Siddhartha was living a very royal fancy life until he sneaks out of his palace.

The day he steps out side he see people sick, getting old, dying and he feels antsy. And that sparks a big question in his life about the meaning and existence of this life for him.


The second part was mostly about the teaching and the meaning of Buddhism. I was surprised to learn that Buddhism is not a religion per se but a way of living life. It does not indicate to leave your creed and join itself but it focuses on the way of improving the life and the belief you already have. Buddhism is all about realizing the true potential of being born human and acting accordingly. As a human the most precious thing to do is to help other creature. Being labelled as the smartest critter it's our moral obligation to make this world a better place by being there for each other. Buddhism says instead of holding your grudges, work together. Instead of killing save each other. In fact Buddhism is the ideal Art of living.

The whole time thousand of thought were running all over my mind. I was amazed to realize how we forget simple joys of our life in day to day activity. In order to get that big apple we think of all the way to go up but forget the whole fun part which is going up there. The destination takes such a lead role and overpowers us as being the sole purpose that the way seems like a mere means. In that big rush some time we take our family and friends for granted and forget how much it takes in making of a relationship. The people we live with, the one that share our joy and console in our sorrow gets so neglected some time that we are left with our own self. As a human the most divine thing to do is to understand each other's feeling. Be there for one another. The feeling that comes with being humane is beyond words.

Never forget the one that walked with you cause they will be the one that will with you for the rest of your life.

lovely winter

I love winter. My absolute favorite time of the year but i am not that crazy about winter morning. Reason what i call is feet-blankie tussle that goes every morning right in front of me at my bed. I am sure millions of people who aspire to get up early but don't or can't can easily relate to this. My case is slightly different cause i have been trying to get up early for as long as i could remember. It's not that i have never succeeded in it but yes most of my life i have been a night bug and eventually a late riser. I have concluded that my feet and the blanket are so into each other that the thought of separation makes my blankie mad and the result.... I don't leave my bed before 8 am. And once i get up the next thing i do is look for my robe and leave my bed half-heatedly. Although winter morning with bright sunlight's are the best one. But to leave bed at early morning can be tricky if you follow the old housewife rule.


I tried all different tricks but i think i am yet to succeed. It fact winter is almost over now and the best i have done so far is just one hour early which is very disastrous. I know getting in morning can be very productive for the rest of the day but those who feel pressurized because of this shouldn't be. If you get your work done even by sleeping late then you shouldn't force yourself.

The amount of energy we put into something that looks extremely difficult to us can be easily substituted with the things that we are best at. I believe in smart work than hard work. Not everything is made for every one. If we can understand the areas where we are best and the things we do best then that can solve a whole bunch of problem. Life is like a zigsaw puzzle you have to put pieces together if you want to succeed. We see others and try to become like them. Well there's nothing wrong with that as long as you don't dissolve your whole self. One thing might work good for someone and might not work the same way for other. A very wise man once said that every human being is potentially divine.

Dear Diary

Guys, i am not a blogger. And up until now i had decided never to blog. I do love to babble but discussing my feelings with others are not my cup of tea. So sharing my cogitation with the outside world sounded like an absurd idea to me. But then one day i was resting on my porch lying down sipping my cup of hot cocoa appreciating the beauty of stars that something strike my mind. It was a old thought from my early childhood, making me feel very nostalgic. Then chain of thought emerged and one led to another. That made me realize how we forget the vivacity of all those moment in our fast paced life. So the next moment i knew that i have to jot down all those memoir and keep them alive for myself.

Although I have been writing stuff's since i got my first dairy at fifth grade but i hadn't paid much attention to what i write until now. Writing journal is like sharing your inmost feeling with you closest chum without worrying for ramifications.

So i started writing just as any other kid does at that age. " Dear Dairy i woke up at 6'o clock and then i brush my teeth at 6:30 am (as if we would get confused between the am-pm's) and then i finished my breakfast at 7:15AM( ok that's too long for a breakfast)...... So i was writing things like this for a good long time until a shift in my writing took place and i matured thank god. Then i started writing serious stuff like "today my brother broke my Barbie doll and i have decided never to talk to him again..." Eventually it was 9th grade and it went on like this for more time untill i started writing stuff like "Oh God zoology practical sucks"... I think all my school, college days i have been writing stuff that can become a laughing stock if my brother ever gets a hand on my pandora box and decides to get my dairies published.

When i got married the first year went on writing complaints about my hubby dearest. "Dear Dairy even though i got up at 10:30 today there was no bed-breakfast offered and to make the matter worse my hubby was too busy watching cricket match on TV. The volume was loud enough to damage my ear completely. I had to yell literally, to call him...." I hardly wrote all the good moments we spent and all the wonderful time we had togather. It was going like this until my sweet hubby read my dairy. And what happened after that is a history. All that made me into thinking that my writing has become biased now and how i truly feel is not reflected in it anymore. Eventually my writing slowed after some time cuz suddenly my life became extremely busy with the birth of daughter. I hardly got time for my writing and it was going like this up until now.

I realized that since i can't travel back in time and live my anecdote i will still remember them all and what better way than expressing it in writing. Be it on a paper or on a blog it always feels ecstatic. I want to scribble everything before it fly's away. I want to write how wonderful my life has been so far and how much more is there to it. It's really funny how an old photo album can cheer us even in worst of time when nothing seems fine. So even though i can't grapple time i can still keep it as a memoir in my blog.

From the time my daughter was born to now and all the hustle and bustle she has been doing needs to be there with me. I don't want to forget my fond memeories that life has given me and be any less appreciative of almighty. So that's how i made myself to blog. Well life is still busy but i have promised myself to write if not every day then at least once a month or may be week. That's my least goal. Who know i might blog daily someday.